A hard pursuit

I know what it’s like for a dream to feel like hunger.

Sitting in an open-air restaurant in Nashville, I am listening to a young singer entertaining patrons.  She has a pleasant voice.  Plays guitar competently.  I think about how she may have come to this city of music to make a name for herself.

My Lyft driver did.  Elysse, a young woman with long brown hair and a quick smile, left a plum job in New York City to pursue her dream of writing songs in Nashville.  She spoke of her pursuit – how she’s learning why there’s work in networking.  Even in a town where even the buildings look vaguely like guitars.

I respect her courage.  But I don’t envy her.

I remember the days when I was chasing after the goal of publishing a children’s book.  The desire lived with me.  It drove me to take my portfolio to New York City just hoping some art director would acquiesce to give me a few moments.  Those were four difficult, humbling trips, currying favor with the powers-that-be.

 

Looking back, I wonder how I would feel if God hadn’t answered that heart’s prayer.  None of the three small-press books were successful, but they quenched my inner fire.  But what if it had never happened?  Would I still be pursuing it?  And would it have been worth the cost of all those years?

So I sit here, listening to this singer and remembering the verse I read this morning:  The Lord will fulfill his purposes for me. (Psalm 138:8)  What a relief it is to know that my life is not simply the aggregate of my choices.  God has been at work, to will and to work for his good pleasure.

 

And he promises that the things that he intended for me to do – and the person that he wanted me to be – will not be simply his wishful thinking, not just the fruitless pursuit of an elusive aspiration.  Despite all the wrong turns I may have taken, he will miraculously guide me to his intended destination.

That’s a dream worth hungering for.

God, you are so kind to us.  You patiently take our heartfelt pursuits – as misguided as they often are – and use them to draw us closer to you.  I thank you for your incredible wisdom that makes our journeys end up where you want them to be.  Shape our passions to guide us toward you.